You like Duke–North Carolina? We all do. Great games, great teams, great entertainment.

But if you want piss and vinegar with your college basketball rivalry instead of wine and cheese, you must salute the hate of Kentucky-Louisville. You must respect the petty. You must embrace the enmity of two fan bases that really, really—no, really—despise each other.

Remember, two senior citizens fought at a dialysis clinic over the rivalry in 2012, before their teams met in the Final Four. Until they do that on Tobacco Road, those fancy pants programs can stand down.